Scroll down to the bottom of this post — if you dare — and then come back.
OK. Are you still with me? Or did you feel woozy and have to click away? I don’t blame you. Rather than post a picture of my actual eye or pictures I found on the Internet, I opted for a nice illustration. Wasn’t that nice of me to spare your stomach’s contents from an unexpected projectile journey?
So, this is what my left eye has looked like for going on two weeks now. It’s starting to fade.
I’m not sure what happened to it. Either I have high blood pressure and my days are numbered, or it is a delayed reaction to the corner of a hardcover book my eyeball accidentally jumped on two weeks ago. See, I remember the book coming at my head. I remember telling my eyeball to take cover. I remember my eye screaming. I remember putting an ice pack on my eye. What I don’t remember is my eye looking this creepy afterward.
It seems I may have done something else shortly after that unexpected blow to the unsuspecting eyeball to send it into the freak-show zone. It may have to do with a certain 40-something woman channeling Ahnold at the gym.
Whatever the cause, I’ve been trying to accessorize one white eye and one red eye.
Turquoise goes nicely, I’ve found.
Meanwhile I ‘ve had more social events, networking shindigs and especial occasions this past month than in the last three put together. At each one, I’ve forgotten about “the eye” until someone stared just a bit too long, or came up really close and half-whispered: “You have red on your eye.”
And that got me thinking about “Shaun of the Dead” and my favorite repeating line: “You have red on you.”