A study in procrastination

I think it’s safe to assume that Martha Stewart won’t be visiting our household on her tour of amazing holiday homes. We here at Zombie central are a case study in procrastination.

Here is our tree, stalled in the decorating process due to a light string malfunction. The second light string fiasco in a 48-hour period. I can only imagine all the cluster-f’s back in the day when folks put lighted candles on their trees.


While a lovely once-live specimen, our tree was a hard-fought purchase. All the local lots were down to their last Charlie Brown specials when the husband and Girl from the East went hunting yesterday. Apparently they had to drive some distance to find this beauty, which also cost a bit above the budget. (Sorry brother, it just might be the Clapper for you this year.)

Ah, well. It smells divinely piney and fresh and the boughs are so supple they can be bent and will not release a single needle. On the other hand … fresh branches mean pine sap. I’m starting to wonder from what lot this tree really came? Was it a residential lot? Is there a gap in someone’s landscaping?

Now that I am a day behind, it will take me — Ms. Obsessive-Compulsive — an additional evening to fix the messed-up lights as well as artfully arrange the ornamentations so that they are balanced, symmetrical, logical and have the proper feng-shui. Even Rain Man would approve. What? You think this is a joke?

Other last-minute panic inducers:

Getting the holiday cards mailed.

Shipping the out-of-town gifts. (Sorry MIL and FIL; I guess at this point it’s just tradition that we are late.)

Completing the other 50 percent — yes, you read that right — of ¬†our shopping.

What we are doing right: We are on our second box of Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe-Joes cookies, our second package of candy canes, and have blown through a glass candy jar of Reese’s holiday miniatures.

The CD player has been rockin’ holiday tunes for weeks.

Priorities. That’s what it’s all about.