Breathing heavily through my right eyelid

So my new friend down the street, Alias Liz Jones, has invited me over for a playdate. But first I must fill out a questionnaire (a.k.a. meme). I’m guessing that I will be screened for mental fitness and rare tropical diseases before an actual outing will commence. In the meantime, I’ve been given a packet of crayons and a coloring book to amuse myself while I’m observed through a one-way glass.

On with the show:

1.Favorite quotable line from a movie:
Just about anything from “Bull Durham,” which is my all-time favorite flick. I’m not even a baseball fan. But everything just clicks in that movie. You can learn all you need to know about life from that movie, I swear. It’s probably Kevin Costner’s only good movie role. Susan Sarandon rocks. The script is top-rate and highly quotable.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I reference this line often: (it’s from a scene where Annie Savoy is coaching one of her rookies.)
“I want you to breathe through your eyelids, like the Lava Lizards of the Galapagos Islands.”

2. Most famous person I talked to:
Jack White when he was dating Renee Zellweger. His right arm had a really heated conversation with my left shoulder at a Dirtbombs concert at the Magic Bag. My shoulder hasn’t stopped talking about it yet. Also, Joyce Carol Oates, which basically featured me drooling all over her life’s work while she muttered monosyllabic responses to my lame questions and dabbed at her book jackets with a tissue.

3. How many bags/boxes of chips are consumed in your house in a month?
Um, does a Hefty bag count as a quantity?

4. What foreign dish do you prepare from scratch?
If I say I’m from the Isle of Vegetaria, maybe a few good meatless recipes, but I mostly leave the cooking of foreign dishes to the experts. My own heritage is one that is sorely lacking in the fine cuisine department, unless boiled cabbage and stringy meat tempts the palate.

5. What’s your favorite section of the super market?
I’m swept away by the produce section. I’m lured by the scents, the bright colors, the artful displays, the pyramids of citrus fruits, the geometric pattterns, the smooth skins and the firm textures. I’m often spotted burying my nose in a bouquet of cilantro. It borders on pornography …

6. What was your high school team’s mascot and colors?
The Blue Devils, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean, and the colors were blue, of course, and yellow.

Well, I hope I colored within the lines and that I was given the non-toxic variety of crayon. All that writing about chips and produce got me a little hungry. Now, I’m supposed to pass this on to others.

So, attention to Humble Origins, Life in Mathews, and Purses and Poop. It’s your turn.
I’ll leave you all with this parting thought:

“The world is not made for people cursed with self-awareness. ”
–Annie Savoy
“Bull Durham”