It's all awesome until someone gets jinxed


Hey! I’ve been tagged again. This time the award comes from the wildly talented scribe known as TeacherMommy who crowned me a Queen of All Things Awesome.
In this meme I’m supposed to balance this big tiara on my head and list seven things that make me awesome. This is no easy task for someone who is tone-deaf when it comes to singing her own praises.
It’s taken me weeks to come up with this list. I asked for family input and I received suggestions that are not suitable for family audiences (from the husband) and ones that have all the weight of cotton candy (from my 3-year-old, who said I am “her darling.”)
Left to my own devices, I came up with this:

1. I’m fiercely devoted to all living things. If you drop off a bleeding, flea-infested animal at my house and ask me to watch it for a day, I’ll feed it and brush it and bandage it and love it and name it George. I’ll totally forgive and forget that you never came back for it — ever. I have gnarled, twisted, Charlie-Brown-Christmas-tree-plants in my house from Clinton’s first term in office that I cannot bear to toss. I kept a cat for 16 years that was so mean that his chart at the vet’s office had a picture of satan on it. No lie.

2. I’m low maintenance, which I’m pretty sure is why my husband married me. I’m not a diva or a daddy’s princess. I don’t require two-carat diamonds or luxury autos or weekly pedicures. I’m a DIY kind of woman. I’m falling in love with second-hand. I’d rather have a picnic on a scenic overlook than dine in a four-star restaurant. I won’t turn down an offer for a fine-dining experience, let’s make that clear. But, if you offer me a choice, I’ll pick the mountain view.

3. I once carried a sizable rock down the side of a mountain because I wanted to prove a point. I carried it over narrow, slippery bridges spanning swift-moving rivers while wearing a 40-pound pack on my back. Along the way my travel companions teased me and urged me to toss it. I cradled it all the way to the trailhead then set it on the ground momentarily to load my gear into the waiting truck that would carry us to civilization. Once back at our bunk house, I realized I had left the rock behind. I made my husband drive us back to the trailhead to retrieve it. I guess that makes me fiercely devoted to rocks or too stubborn to give up on a quest no matter how ridiculous.

4. I have never gambled in my life. I’ve been to Atlantic City and Las Vegas as well as third-rate casinos in between and never rolled the dice or placed a bet or even played the slots. I think I may have purchased one Lotto ticket in the early 1990s but felt incredibly stupid for doing so. I just don’t get gambling.

5. I am an absurdly loyal person. If you tell me a secret, I’ll keep it. Even if there is no longer any reason to keep it. Like, if you tell me you are pregnant, I’ll still deny knowing it when you are screaming in the agony of labor. Even if everyone else in the room knows the secret, I’ll play as if I was out of the loop the whole time. You simply cannot extract from me other people’s secrets.

6. I’m a chameleon. If I spend even a short amount of time in a place far from home, I will take on the rhythm and inflection of the language, as well as the mannerisms of the inhabitants.  At one time I had an extensive repertoire of character voices that I could do on command, including Louis Armstrong, Donald Duck, Marvin the Martian, the Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz), and several Winnie the Pooh characters.

7. I have never broken a bone in my life. I’ve never had surgery. I have no major medical conditions.  I am incredibly blessed with good health. I supposed I’ve jinxed myself now and my next post will be dictated from a hospital bed where I’ll be immobilized in a full-body cast after falling down the side of a mountain because I wagered that I could hop on one foot while juggling a rabid dog and a boulder. Awesome.

Rather than tag seven other bloggers like I’m supposed to do, (notice I didn’t list obedient as one of my awesome qualities) I’m going to list seven new blog discoveries for you to check out for yourself. If your drafts folder is empty or you don’t have time to craft an original post, by all means, take this challenge and run with it. Happy reading.

The Draft Queen —  I can’t leave comments on her Blogger blog, so I’ll praise her prose from afar.
Small Town, Small Times — Welcome to JCrewville
Chains of Yesterday — Raw, honest writing
Holli’s Ramblings — Adventures of an expat in Ghana
Yellow Trash Diaries — She makes me laugh every time
Ordinary Art Blog — Writing so beautiful I weep tears of childish jealousy
Mouthy Housewives — It’s all stuff you know about but don’t want to admit

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