Putting the ow in wow

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned my right knee made a sound like a chip bag being crumpled? Remember how I made it sound like it was a funny thing?

Even funnier is now I have a matched set. Two knees that sound like crumpling cellophane when I kneel or try to lunge or squat in exercise.

Maybe I can sell them on eBay.

Do I need new knees? I’ve saved for a good pair of running shoes. Oh, and one of those titanium sports bras. Now, it looks like knee braces are on the list. But not new knees, oh god, no.

Getting old — older — sucks just like I thought it would.

As you may be aware, I have all these goals for the summer and beyond. Goals that need a higher level of fitness. Call these things carrots or brass rings or whatever. I use them as motivators to get in the best shape of my life.

So, what happened on the sweaty road from fat to fit?

Failure is not an option is my mantra. Since October I’ve worked hard to reach a goal that seemed impossible.

Two weeks ago, the tiniest tip of my big toe lightly brushed against that goal. I was so wowed by this I lost all sense.

Suddenly I was Jaime Sommers, the bionic woman. As I ran I heard that ch-ch-ch-CH-CH sound in my head. At least until the first commercial break, then I fell down a flight of steps, bolts and screws flying in all directions, my toe miles from any goal. Back to the lab.

I pushed myself too fast, too soon. I attempted to work through the pain, like I thought you were supposed to do. Turns out there are subtle differences between a sore muscle and inflamed tissue. Turns out I do not have a degree in sports medicine or physical therapy. Turns out my journalism degree is good only if I employ the research aspect.

Sure, I downloaded training schedules, read articles on the process, talked to others.  But if the order for the day said run 2.5 miles, I said, fuck it, I’ll go for three.

Turns out that at a certain age that is not the best workout plan. Turns out my parts are not titanium like the sports bra I covet.

Now, instead of sweating and feeling the burn, I’m on the couch icing my legs and losing the battle of willpower with those boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the pantry.

What is the sound of patience? Better yet, can I buy it on eBay?



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11 thoughts on “Putting the ow in wow

  1. I did something similar, though not as ambitious. I was riding my bike and torked my knee to the side. For a week any time I moved it I was in pain.

    I hate getting old.

    And I will join you in the cookies…

  2. Libby: Ouch. My knee flinched as I read that.
    Meleah: I can make a recording of my knees and send it to you for those down days. You’re welcome.

  3. I had my first knee surgery when I was 16. My second when I was 19. Remember that slow and steady wins the race and soon you’ll be back to where you were.

    • Jennifer: It’s all coming back to me — why I stopped running the last time — my knees! I have no choice this time. I need to be able to run at least three miles and that’s all there is to it. Slow and steady as Corrin suggests above.

  4. I’ve been sitting on the couch eating Coconut Thin cookies from Trader Joes instead of working out to get my almost 40 yo body in shape. And not because I’m injured but because I jinxed myself by blogging about the fact that I was going to get myself in shape. Ugh! Hope your body heals soon and that you get back to running.
    By the way, your math equation above asked me to write in 8 x 9 and I couldn’t remember. Talk about getting old!

    • Mary: I sampled a sliver of one of those cookies at Trader Joe’s yesterday. Oh.my.god. I just walked away rather than even pretend I’d have any control with a box of them in my house.

  5. Sounds painful! My grandmother has made comparisons like that before. She now has had two knee replacements though which help some. But now she describes a catching feeling that happens. I hope you heal soon!

    • Krystle: ooh and ouch! Don’t like the sound of any of those things. Knees are all better for now. I will respect the knees.

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