I’m trying to run.
Well, I’m actually running but it doesn’t feel like real running because it’s on a treadmill and I’ve got this idea that once I get good on that I’ll move on pavement or grass or dirt.
One of the reasons for running is because I (foolishly) signed up for this. The idea is that I aim for something difficult (to me) and train for six months so I can be so proud of myself and maybe (just maybe) have a better body and health as a result.
Another reason is that The Warrior Dash seemed irreverent and maybe not all that seriously athletic like a marathon or half marathon. A few friends completed it last summer and talked about how fun, crazy and easy it was.
On what can only be called a whim, I signed up, paid the money before it occurred to me that these friends are all marathon runners. Well, OK, half-marathon runners but still, that’s way more than I’ve ever done in my life. We might have different ideas about crazy, fun and easy.
OK. There’s also this recurring dream I’ve had for months? Years? I don’t really know.
In my dream I am running — for real, on the street –every day. I’m just gliding along with strong lungs and fluid movements. Somewhere in all this the dreams started to nag at my conscience. I’d think about them during the day. Why am I having them? What do they really mean? Am I supposed to be out there running for some reason? It became an overwhelming compulsion to get to the gym and run as often as I could. Even if I fared poorly that day, my conscience eased for having tried.
In my youth, I was a pretty good runner. I was lean and swift. Over the years I’ve dabbled with running on treadmills mostly as a way to shed pounds. The last time I seriously attempted it was three years ago. Between then and now I’ve had pneumonia twice.
Since late summer, I’ve been pushing and pushing to improve my running on the treadmill so that by January I can begin to run outside. How else can I train for this event? In some twisted turn of events, I’m actually doing progressively worse with each session.
I’ve even found myself trying to get out of this thing somehow. What I should be doing is finding a trainer.
Or maybe I just need a dream interpreter.