Judgment

PROMPTuesday No. 99 from San Diego Momma:

Judge me for being an anonymous blogger.

Judge you for caring.

Judgment of Divorce: Many years ago I stood in court in my best suit and heels and swore before a judge that I’d follow the word and letter of my divorce decree. That meant taking care of my child, contributing 50 percent to her care and keeping, and splitting physical custody down the middle. For anyone who’s had to do this, there is no middle in a seven-day week. Someone ends up with the short straw. For seven years, that was me.

Judge me for it.

Many did.

I took the very great risk that forging a new life alone would be better in the end than staying in a toxic relationship. I was judged harshly. I lost friends. My ex-husband’s family shunned me for years and spread lies about me to anyone who would listen.

Judge me. Walk in my shoes. Then I’ll judge you.

As a single mother I walked a very narrow line. There were some things I just didn’t do for fear of losing my child.

I lived in fear of  judgments. I dreaded decrees.

I didn’t drink. I worked two jobs at times to have more than enough money to keep us comfortable. I was careful who I had over my apartment. Although I did date, I was discreet. My dates never occurred during my parenting time. Only once did I hire a babysitter when I was a single mother.

Even though I’ve been remarried for almost 10 years, I am still a divorced parent. I cannot shake that. I have an ex-husband who may or may not want to take me down.

Having this blog is a risk. The only way it works is to keep myself anonymous.

Judge me.

Judge you.

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10 thoughts on “Judgment

  1. I love your writing! keep it up. god the judgment sometimes is overwhelming. your writing made me actually stop and read. you’ve got something real and refreshing to say. i don’t even know you but i’ve got your back in some strange way. i’ve just moved to a new city, leaving all my awesome friends behind. boy do i wish you were my new neighbor! keep writing, and i’ll keep reading. shawn

  2. It’s too bad that people have to be evil like that. It just reminds me of what Jesus said when people were ready to stone a sinner. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” If people would think that way, they wouldn’t be so quick to judge. (((HUGS)))
    .-= Collette´s last blog ..Calgon Take Me Away…NOW! =-.

  3. To all: Thank you for your support. I took up the PROMPTuesday challenge provided by the amazing San Diego Momma (Check out her blog if you don’t know about it.) and this is what flowed from brain to hands to keyboard. Most of the pain is in the past, but I thought I might clarify to any and all why I write under a pen name. If you are ever stuck for a post, prompts are a great challenge.

  4. Wow – this gives me pause. I was brought up by a single mother and I find I’m still judging so many of her decisions. Shame on me — her own daughter.

    I try very hard not to judge, but find myself doing it without thinking – sort of like eating off my kids plates.

    I’m glad you survived that time in your life. You write about it like it was yesterday – very vividly.

    In my judgement, you’re a great writer.
    .-= small town small times´s last blog ..This I Believe? =-.

  5. Great post. Being a single mom comes with a never ending list of judgments on your back. I can remember feeling like I had to defend every. single. decision. I made when I was a single mom. This post brought that back for me. We have no right to judge when we haven’t walked in those shoes.
    .-= Summer´s last blog ..Hunker Down =-.

  6. Sounds like you found a perfect balance, which is a very admirable thing to have done! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences so honestly. And by the way, I haven’t even hatched a fetus yet and I’m far less productive. You should feel proud of your accomplishments and enjoy every second you have that doesn’t involve that terrible scourge on humankind known as work;)

  7. Pingback: Mom Zombie » Blog Archive » Pulled apart

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