Wardrobe malfunction, Part II

Two weeks ago I tweeted:

That morning, when selecting what to wear, I considered the following:

  • I’ll be in a dark theater.
  • I’ll be with a bunch of kids.
  • I haven’t worn this shirt in two years. (I know there is a reason, but I cannot remember what it is.)

During the performance, the reason came back to me in a whisper of cold air up my spine. I do not wear this shirt because it does not fit properly.

It’s one of those crossover V-neck shirts that looks really cute when you first put it on and even retains some level of cuteness for the first hour of wear. It’s also striped in shades of red that flatter my hair color and skin tone. After a few hours of wear, however, it stretches and sags in the front, forcing constant adjustment to prevent, er, wardrobe malfunctions, particularly in the neckline area.  Also, I’d forgotten to wear a tank top or camisole under the shirt. By the end of the performance, I’d tugged and twisted the shirt so many times it had stretched to almost twice its size.

Like this, only with more sag. Via Treehugger.com

Shortly after the show ended, I thought I’d just slip into my jacket and slink on out of the theater. But this wasn’t just any show. It was the first U.S. tour for this traveling troupe of musicians and dancers from a university in Hubei Province, China. We heard the call for students in the audience to head onstage if they were interested in a meet and greet with the troupe.

Being the mother of a four-year-old Girl from China who loves, loves, loves all things Chinese, it didn’t take long for me to find myself being pulled by one hand toward the stage by my eager daughter while the other tugged at my malfunctioning top.

Once the college students made eye contact with my girl it was all over. I don’t now who gushed and giggled more: my girl or the pretty young women. My girl was passed around from student to student for photo opportunities and even rode on the shoulders of one of the male musicians. No amount of backing into the shadows stopped the inevitable, “Mom, how about you get into a few of these pictures?”

On the way home it occurred to me that I shouldn’t ever dress myself with a dark theater, it’s just kids, who cares attitude. You never know who you’ll bump into, and when you do, you’ll be judged by what you are wearing, like it or not.

When I got home I did two things: I tweeted my revelation and then I tossed that saggy shirt into the trash.

Lesson learned.

2 thoughts on “Wardrobe malfunction, Part II

  1. I know what you mean about those shirts. I love them, too, for just about as long…lol. We need something form-fitting, that stays that way, yet, comfy. I’m pretty much a sweats person & not the expensive, running outfit look either. Give me the big, baggy, soft sweatshirt & pants anyday. Usually they match…lol. In the summer, it’s tank tops & loose shorts with pockets. Sometimes I like the lycra leggings or shorts if I’m not feeling too bloated that day.
    I’m not surprised how taken they were with your little girl. She is adorable! (((HUGS)))

  2. Oy. I have a shirt like that: a navy tanktop from Jcrew. Unfortunately, the skinny babes at Jcrew have no boobs, so the shirt looks okay initially and then, like you, an hour later I am All Boob. Pictures from my last birthday and a gorgeous restaurant in Chicago and all you see are my boobs. It ain’t pretty. Throw it in the trash, huh? You inspire.

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