Wardrobe malfunction

Photo via Somewhere in Time on the Internet (Sorry)

This is what I’m supposed to wear to a party tonight.
I do not have this in my closet. Do you?
In the late ’80s I had a green jacket like the one the model is wearing. I’m thinking at some point in the ’80s or early 1990s I had some baggy pants that could have been modified to pull off this look. I even had the boots.
Yes, in the ’80 and ’90s.
I have a very limited wardrobe that consists of stuff I wear to the gym, stuff I wear around the house and the very, very narrow choices for going out or meeting clients. None of it fits the criteria of the Victorian era. Nary a puffy shirt in sight.
I do not have knickerbockers, circa 1895, in my closet. Nor does any resale or vintage shop in my area. And the theater folks I asked? They told me to go sew my own …
Do you have this ensemble in your wardrobe? How about a time machine? A historical museum nearby with loose windows, easy-to-pick locks?
If so, could you FedEx any or all of them to MomZombie now?
Maybe I should just make my own time machine and deliver myself elsewhere in history so I don’t have to show up costume-less to this event.
I have about two hours to get in character. Otherwise? I’m showing up in street clothes. I’m hoping the extra bottle of wine I’m bringing will help smooth over this little oversight.

7 thoughts on “Wardrobe malfunction

  1. It was a murder mystery dinner party where everyone was given a role and a costume to find that fit the role. This was the only thing I found online that seemed to fit the description. It was fun.

  2. Oh, dear…what a task!

    Is there some way you could have gone nekkid with your sweet self painted? You could have been a, um, Painted Lady of that era…

    Please. Feel free to kick me in the butt for that one.

  3. Ruby: That was someone else’s costume for the evening. I didn’t get the slutty part; I got the Victorian-era anthropologist/feminist part.
    Beej: Come on. What’s not to love about this ensemble?

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