Make it or break it

A lot of people labeled 2008 as their worst year ever. I can’t say the same.

It was a continuation of 2007, good or bad. Both years had me at home with my daughters, outside of the working world. It was a period of adjustment. I had hoped to discover a whole new world, uncover a new way of life. I was going to embrace my domesticity with open, willing arms. Oh, and along the way I was supposed to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

But life just got in the way of all those lofty goals. People died. Friendships fell apart. Big chunks of our household income were lost. The economy really tanked. On the upside, I made new friends, tackled a lot of unfinished business around my home, managed  to do a bit of traveling, and began my super secret affair with the Internets.

But the honeymoon is over. Reality has hit home and hard. I need to roll up my sleeves and find a way to bring in some money. I need to do all this from home or fairly close to home. These past two weeks have been a whirl of scouting out preschools and digging through boxes of my past work, trying to devise a plan. Trying not to panic.

Which  leads me to an epiphany I had this week: This year is either going to make me or break me. I am on the edge. I need to shore up inner strength and set aside my pride, my insecurity and whatever the hell else is gnawing at me and just get moving. I need faith, direction and a few guiding principles.

At least once a month, if not more, I am going to push myself outside of my comfort zone to do something to shake things up and wake me up. I have a plan for this weekend that I hope to share soon.

3 thoughts on “Make it or break it

  1. I think I could have written this post. This will be the year that either breaks of makes me. It’s a scary thought. I need to figure out how to deal with all the inner demons and get myself out of the mess and the hole that I’ve dug.

    Never fear though MZ…I’ll be your cheerleader! 2009 HAS got to be a better year than those past!

  2. Thanks Auds. It helps to know others are in the same leaking boat heading toward an unknown shore. We can cheer each other on!

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