Love 'em while they're young

It’s easy to hug and cuddle chubby babies. They coo and giggle and gurgle and smell like baby powder. They are soft and sweet. Even as babies grow into small children, they still retain a certain charm: they are brutally honest, genuinely interested in you and the world around them, and mostly accept what you say as fact.

Then something horrible happens to them. They become teenagers. I say this from the perspective of being a parent to one. Yes. Yes. I remember what I was like. Horrible. Perhaps one of the most horrible teenagers ever.

Does that mean I have to relive the experience from the receiving end? Apparently so. For those still in the cuddly baby stage, a primer:

Rule No. 1: Accept the fact that no matter how you dress, style your hair or “accessorize” you are doing it wrong. You don’t “get it.”

Rule No. 2: No matter what comes out of your mouth when you speak, you are “annoying.”

Rule No. 3: Despite the fact that you have lived on this earth for 43 years, “you don’t know what you are talking about.”

Rule No. 4: You are a wallet with wheels. End of story.

I think it’s safe to say that my reminiscing of the birth experience earlier this week was a moment of weakness. It’s time to strap on the body armor and shore up patience and strength for the next few years.

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